Name: sLhAcKeR
Age/Sex: 28, Male
Married: No
Location: California
Real Job: Webmaster/ Computer Geek
Job Description: Web site, database, and PERL script
development and administration
Experience: 3.5 years
Hobbies: Camping in Anza-Borrego, surfin' the web, pretending
to work |
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Week
13 Assignment Info:
sLhAcKeR has defeated all OS opponents and earned the job of "CEO" for
upcoming OS3 activities. A job well done!
Task:  COMPLETED
Question Response:  INCORRECT
Opinion Response: I've been called a
slacker since I was a child. Since I tend to sleep in as late as I can, friends and family
have often said that I'm lazy.
It has always been difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning, yet I've managed to
find a job that allows me to wander in to the office at around 10:15 or so. And, despite
being told NUMEROUS times that I "would never get ahead" unless I woke up
earlier, cut my hair, and dressed nicer, I'm doing quite well even though I refuse to
follow any such advice.
I have always been attracted to the slacker lifestyle and I really envy people that manage
to survive - and sometimes do quite well - without putting forth much effort.
The name "sLhAcKeR" came from the fact that I'm both a slacker and a hacker.
Sometimes, when I'd put my feet up on my desk, the woman I used to share an office with
would say that I "look like a hacker and a slacker". By "hacker", I
mean somebody who is obsessed with computers, NOT necessarily one who likes to do evil
deeds with technology.
The Office Survival 2 contest has been very fun so far and I feel that I have always been
correct and creative in completing the weekly assignments (I know, these aren't the
characteristics of a slacker, but hey, I'm playing by the rules and objectives of the
contest).
sLhAcKeR
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Week
12 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Skillit
Sent Memos To: None
Task: COMPLETE
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: I decide to embarrass the dude in front of his girlfriend. At the novelty
store on the other side of the mall, I pick up a whoopee cushion and some stink bombs.
Halfway through the movie, I break the stink bombs open right under his seat, squeeze the
whoopee cushion, then shout “Man, that’s f---in SICK!!!” and
hold my nose.
Week 11 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Michele
Sent Memos To: Michele
Task: COMPLETE
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: Since I normally
don't get out of bed until after 9, I was actually glad to let my friends get on the road
at 7 AM without me. I ultimately ended up joining them, however. I got to the office at my
usual 10:15, had my review at 11:00, then headed on up to Disneyland after getting a
killer raise!
Week 10 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Christy
Sent Memos To: None
Task: COMPLETED, 1st to submit
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: It was obvious
that neither of us wanted to be at the office any longer than need be. I ask the dude if I
could just quickly look over his notes and copy 'em down instead of having to listen to a
long, drawn-out speech. He agrees without hesitation and we're both able to get finished
and leave work early!
Week 9 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Jen
Sent Memos To: None
Task: COMPLETED, 3rd to finish
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: I reach into my pocket and take out a
handful of stink bombs, drop 'em on the ground, and then break 'em open with my boots.
While Miss March is safely upwind, everyone else is overcome by the smell of farts.
Without any difficulty, I'm able to hop on the chair with her and enjoy going up the
mountain together.
Week 8 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Christy
Sent Memos To: Michele, Michele
Task: COMPLETED, 7th to finish
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can't
get beads the traditional Mardi Gras way. I wander around lifting up MY shirt and showing
off MY tits to every woman I meet. At first, they're a bit shocked, but then they tell me
that they like the change of pace and then happily place the beads around my neck!
Week 7 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Christy
Sent Memos To: None
Task: COMPLETED, 7th to finish
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: Being the electronics geek that I am, I
decide to put my knowledge to - and I know this is a dirty word for all you slackers -
work. I go to the electrical equipment room, disconnect the Muzak system, and splice a
cheap boom box - tuned to the local classic rock station - into the system. End of
problem!
Week 6 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Sharri
Sent Memos To: Jen (1)
Task: COMPLETED, 3rd to finish
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: As I knew Edith's
chauffer would be driving, I decided to down several bottles of Guinness before our
"date" began. Being buzzed made it easy from me to ignore the fact that she was
56 years older than I was and I was able to have a great time. I'm now enjoying the
80" big screen TV she gave me.
Week 5 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Sharri
Sent Memos To: No Memos Sent
Task: COMPLETED, 9th employee to finish
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: Here in California, we are faced with
record high electricity rates AND some areas are experiencing occasional blackouts since
there simply isn't enough power to go around. The entire state is _still_ under a
"Stage 3 Alert" - basically, the power grid is in critical condition - for a few
WEEKS now and there's little chance of improvement coming anytime soon. It doesn't take a
genius to realize that computers, lights, printers, fax machines, paper shredders, and the
(albeit, poorly working) air-conditioning all use lots of expensive electricity. Besides,
it's also a very _nice_ day outside.
I decide to go to my boss and tell him how we can show that we're good corporate citizens
and that we should shut the entire office down for the rest of the day. I further mention
an article in the local paper that mentioned how local grocery stores have shut off half
of their lights, for example, to save electricity. Store managers initially thought it
might inconvenience customers, but actually customers have been THANKING the business for
saving the power for the rest of the state. My boss thinks for a few moments then decides
to go right ahead with my idea! I head straight
for the beach...
Week 4 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Cloak, Sneakieyes
Task: COMPLETED, 8th employee to finish
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: "A brick of Black Cats" describes
my work
ethic. Instead of only working hard for the short time that the boss is watching, I work
with multiple bursts of energy for long periods of time. Rather than drawing lots of
attention for a few brief moments, then kickin' back for the rest of the day, I keep going
and going and going...
Week 3 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Lone Stranger, Sneakieyes
Task: COMPLETED, 2nd employee to finish
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: I decide to plan on stretching the truth
and
telling my boss that the hammock he wanted was too big to fit in my luggage. I frantically
search around the 'Net and find a company that sells hammocks online -
http://www.televar.com/hammocks/ - that are hand-made in Brazil. I quickly order a
comfortable-looking hammock and arranged to have it Fed-Ex'd to the office in about a week
(the hammock has to be made first, and there's no such thing a worldwide overnight
delivery). On the order form, I briefly explain my dilemma and ask that they please
"fudge" the order date on the packing slip to last Thursday. He'll never know I
forgot!
Week 2 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Paige, Lucy
Task: COMPLETED, 11th employee to finish assignment
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: "While already obviously #@!#ed up on
beer, I decide to act even MORE intoxicated and obnoxious. When the salesman approaches me
for the fifth time, I make myself vomit in his face. I then give a fake apology and
quickly disappear into the crowd. He'll likely stay as far away from me as possible
now!"
Week 1 Assignment Info:
Voted To Fire: Allen, Lucy
Task: COMPLETED
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: "While there's only one person ahead
of me, and I know how lazy and slow government workers can be, I decide to play it safe. I
start some very quick small talk with the person right behind me. I mention that I've been
waiting in line for two hours already and that I absolutely MUST get this passport today.
I tactfully explain my urgent need to answer nature's call then slip the woman a $20 bill
in return for promising to hold my place in line."
Registration Question Response: Why are you still on lunch
instead of at work? - "Whoa man! This is the first time I’ve taken a
decent lunch break in a couple years! After working late into the evening every other day
this week, I REALLY needed to get away from the office for a couple hours. Besides, today
was a really slow day anyway." |
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