Name: Darth Goofy |
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| Week 12 Assignment Status: Darth Goofy was terminated on October 7, 2001 Week 11 Assignment Status: Task: 
COMPLETEQuestion:
CORRECTOpinion Response: I would peice the cabinet together with Duct Tape. Everything is better with duct tape. In fact, I might get a promotion for being so resourceful and making tha cabinet much stronger than it was before. Week 10 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Ozzz Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
CORRECTOpinion Response: I would aim right at my boss, but try to make it look like an accident. I would tell him that I must have eaten some bad shellfish the night before, and all the motion of the car exacerbated the situation. As the shock wore off of my vomiting on him, all he would remember is that I tossed my cookies on him, that I ate bad shellfish, and that the roads were bad. He would probably forget about my moaning about a headache and about the bright lights. Week 9 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Lancer Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
CORRECT Opinion Response: I would continue sitting in my house and find something to do, until they looked like they had the truck almost full. I would then go out and offer to help. I would apologize for not having come out earlier and tell them that I had been working for an assignment for work. After I had helped them complete their job, I would invite them over for dinner, steaks and potatoes on the grill, along with drinks. That way, I would relieve myself of the guilt for not offering help earlier. And really, since they are unfriendly anyway, they will probably decline. And if they accept, it will be a small price to pay to have them leave the neighborhood. Week 8 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Darth Goofy Task:  INCORRECTQuestion:
CORRECT Opinion Response: As I was coming directly here after picking up this important paperwork, I realized that there were no markings on the envelope I was carrying. I did not want to have to drive all the way back to our legal company, so I ensured the accuracy of the contents by opening the envelope and reviewing the cover sheet. I know that I should not have opened the envelope, but I wanted to make sure that I had the appropriate document package. When I was satisfied of the contents, I finished me drive here without incident. Since I had opened the envelope, I decided to carry it in my attaché case. As I walked to the entrance, a bum asking for change accosted me. I told him I did not have any money (for this very reason) so he threw his drink on me. It turned out to be some kind of frozen drink, like a smoothie, so it lumped its way down my suit into my attaché case. We really should have some kind of security monitoring the entrance. I remembered what I had in my case, so I ran to the bathroom to check on the status of the documents. The drink had sloshed its way into the envelope, so I removed all of the papers and tried to blot them dry. I guess our legal company must be using poor quality ink as it started to smear. I am sure that they can prepare another package, which I would be willing to go pick-up. This time though, I will make sure I have the right documents before I leave their office. Week 7 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Rowan Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
CORRECTOpinion Response: I would not join him. As my company keeps records of customer files, I would immediately inform my boss of my co-workers indiscretions. His plan might be foolproof, but I would be that fool with the proof to foul his plan. My manager would be so impressed with me, he would make me head of company security, and give me a reserved parking space. Besides, if I went with the blackmail, I would be unhireable in the future… this would make me appear to be a contentious employee, with strong re-hirability. Week 6 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Zeeee Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
CORRECTOpinion Response: Grandpa is that you? I have missed you so much since since that accident. Didn’t you die. What… you are not my grandpa?!? My head hurts. What just happened to me? You look familiar, do I know you? What, I work for you? Where? What do I do? I know how to do that? I think I need to lie down and go to sleep. What? I shouldn’t lie down, I should keep moving? Okay, you look smart, I will do what you say, mister. You look so smart in that uniform. Do you play professionally? What, you are my boss? Maybe I should go to the hospital and talk to a doctor. You don’t think so, why not? You say one thousand dollars says I should stay here until I feel better? I don’t know. I feel this bump on my head growing, and my vision is blurring. A raise, you say? What do I do again? Oh yes, I remember you telling me that. So one thousand dollars and a raise? All I see is a light, I want to walk towards it. AND a new car? I think I’ll lie down. When do I go into work? Tomorrow? No, you say? I can wait until I feel better. Thank you mister man… I mean um… boss. You are so generous. Week 5 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Nobody (off this week) Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
CORRECTOpinion Response: Really there are two ways to handle this. I could go into work and pretend that nothing happened. If the matter ever came to my attention, I would apologize and state that “I must have used the wrong card. I had so many margaritas that I wasn’t seeing straight. Here is a check for the $400, and I won’t let it happen again.” I could also handle the matter by going into work the next day and waiting for the snitch to brag and boast about how he got me into trouble. I would feign befuddlement and ask him what he meant, He say me partying last night on the expense account. As he sat there gloating, I would state that I had just potentially closed a deal with some potential clients last night, and that they might want to sign a contract with our company. I would feed him some bull about who it was and what they said. I would tell my boss about it and get a commendation. Later I would say the deal fell through because the ‘potential clients’ could not get adequate funding for their part of the deal. Most likely though, I would call in dead (due to the horrendous hangover), and wait for my boss to ask me for the money to cover what I charged the expense account, since I had obviously used it in error. He would then ask how my anniversary was, since he likes me better than the snitch anyway. Week 4 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Testpod Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
COMPLETEOpinion Response: I would get ready for work as normal, but before I left, I would remove a tire from my car and put it back on, as well as tinker under the hood. As I got to work, I would inform my boss that, “As I was driving into work today, I saw a car stranded on the side of the road. I was going to drive by, because I did not want to be late to work, until I saw that there were three children in the car, and their mother was crying in the front seat. I stopped to make sure everything was okay. She had just been driving her kids to school when her engine stopped. Being an Eagle Scout, I felt the need to try to help her. I opened the hood of her car and saw that she had some loose ignition wires in her car. I tightened them, and while I was doing that, I decided to check her oil. I discovered that she had no oil in her engine, which meant that she probably had more serious damage to her engine block. I called a tow truck and had her car towed to my mechanic. I went with her to ensure everything was all right. The mechanic said that she had a blown head gasket and that her piston rings were shot. He then told her it would be weeks before she could get her car back. I felt sympathy for her and offered to take her children to school, and then take her home. She was grateful for the assistance and accepted, stating that she did have a spare car waiting at home. I took her children to school and dropped her off at home. She did have a spare car at home, but it had a flat tire. So, I changed her tire for her. I know I am supposed to be at work on time, but, as I learned in Boy Scouts, ‘Do a good turn daily.’ I will make up the missed hours over the next few days, and I hope you can understand my predicament. Week 3 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Had Monday off last week, no vote Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
COMPLETEOpinion Response: I would tell the boss that it is only a four-day weekend. I have my laptop with off-site connectivity and I am caught up with all of my work. I would also state that no work ever is completed on a Monday, I would be back on Tuesday with my work reserves all full up. Finally, I would remind my boss that, while I might be replaceable, it would be an expensive proposition… his money would be better served to let me off for that one little Monday. Week 2 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Sam Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
COMPLETEOpinion Response: I would inform the Department Manager that I was planning an ‘office morale’ event, with the approval of some executive officers, and that I would need a list of all departmental team members to make the appropriate preparations. If the manager wanted to know whom the executives were, I would tell him that the executives wanted to remain anonymous until the planned event, as they wished to make a surprise appearance. After a few weeks, if the manager wished to know when the event would happen, I would tell him that the executives cancelled the event, due to the recent firings and cut-backs Week 1 Assignment Status: Voted To Fire: Had Monday off last week, no vote Task:
COMPLETEQuestion:
COMPLETEOpinion Response: I would comment to my boss that he should be glad that there are cigarette butts around the loading docks for the following reasons: 1. This shows that employees would rather stay at work to relax than go home for those precious few puffs of nicotine. 2. The presence of cigarette butts near the loading docks is proof that employees are taking the initiative to not smoke in their cubicles, which is against company policy. 3. The fact that there are butts means that my co-workers have a lessened chance of being irritable, jumpy, and unpleasant. Overall, I would tell my boss that if there were no cigarette butts near the loading dock, I would be concerned and worried for my safety. Registration Question: "Your best friend (and co-worker) has been seen idling at the mall on company time by the company snitch. What do you do to help your friend out of this untimely jam?" Darth Goofy's Response: "Inform management that my friend was at the mall researching new technologies that could be implemented at work, to help increase efficiency and productivity." |
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