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Name: John
Age/Sex: 27, Male
Married: No
Location: New York
Real Job: Temp Admin. Asst.
Job Description: Answer phone, scheduling, word processing,
filing, booking travel
Experience: 4 years
Hobbies: Rollerblading, Reading |
*John came
in 2nd to Brock by a small margin in the final week of our contest. A fine accomplishment
by another fine slacker.
Week 13 Assignment
Status:
Task: 
CORRECT - 45 for original EP version, 39 in radio version
Question Response: CORRECT (What is your Quest?)
Opinion Responses:
1.) Which Office Survival task do you think was the most difficult?
Explain why.
"Taking a picture of myself sleeping on the job was
pretty awful. I had to have our janitor take the
photo. I told him I wanted to get pictures of me at
work so my mother could see my office. After a few of
me smiling and waving, I said, "Hey, let's do a gag
photo of me sleeping at my desk! Mom will love it."
The guy thought it was so much fun that he followed me
around all day long taking pictures: at the water
cooler, on my lunch break, in the copy room, getting
coffee.... It was a long day.
2.) What part of the Office Survival contest was the most fun?
Explain why.
My favorite assignment was the first task: the employee photo. I had a friend take the
picture while I held his dog, Bandit, in place. We tried all sorts of poses and ideas
until we got just the right one.
To get him to look at the computer screen, we had to put a spoonful of dog food on the
monitor!
3.) Explain why do you deserve to win the Office Survival contest.
Recently, my boss called me into her office. I was sure that she was going to give me the
axe. I've blown off an incredible amount of work while putting together my Office Survival
assignments, and I figured that she had finally had enough of my countless hours of
surfing the net. Instead, she said she'd noticed how diligently I've been working at my
computer lately and wanted to reward me for my new-found dedication to the company. She
took me out to lunch at her favorite restaurant and gave me the afternoon off! I should
win the Office Survival contest because I've mastered the art of slacking off: less work,
more play, and no one knows any better!
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Week 12 Results:
Voted To Fire: Kim
Task: COMPLETED
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: "I’d take my time eating breakfast and watching TV.
When I did get to work, I’d explain that I was
donating at the company blood drive. My boss would feel so guilty that she’d let it
drop without following up. It’s the ideal plan: relaxed morning, Good Samaritan
brownie points, and I don’t waste a sick day!"
Week 11 Results:
Voted To Fire: Krista
Task: COMPLETED, 2nd to finish
Opinion Response: "Sir, I'm sure you've heard all the stories about
beautiful, vibrant young women marrying mature gentlemen such as yourself. Don't be fooled
by what they say. It's not for the money. It's all about the shoes. These high-tops drive
women crazy. And as a bonus, every first-time buyer gets a complimentary sample pack of
Viagra."
Week 10 Results:
Voted To Fire: Krista
Task: COMPLETED, 2nd to finish (and had Friday off again)
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: "I'd love to, Boss, but my religion forbids me to
prepare beef on weekends. After taking that non-discrimination course last week, I'm sure
you understand. A burger sounds good, though! You know, my new religion doesn't forbid me
from EATING beef, so if you could cook one up for me as well that'd be
fantastic! With pickles and mustard, please."
Week 9 Results:
Voted To Fire: Jason
Task: COMPLETED, 2nd to finish and earned Friday off
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: "I had a boss who was the heaviest smoker I’ve ever
known. She reeked of it. When she would open her
office door, a thick cloud would waft out. She would get irritable in meetings because she
couldn’t have her cigarettes. My coworkers and I called her “Ashes.” To her
face. She never got it."
Week 8 Results:
Voted To Fire for week 6: Mikey
Task: COMPLETED, 5th employee to finish
Question Response: CORRECT - Leiter, Pettitte
Opinion Response: "While my boss is on her usual two hour cigarette break,
I'd sneak into her office and reprogram her screen saver to flash a subliminal message
every five minutes. The message would read something like: 'Don't fire Wallace. Give John
a raise. Get your own coffee.' "
Week 6 and
7 Assignment Results:
Voted To Fire for week 6: Bombshell, Conan
Task: COMPLETED
Click on picture for full size
Question Response: CORRECT
Opinion Response: "It's really embarrassing. I was
selected 'Most Effective Employee' by some magazine. My work address wasn’t released,
but companies are so desperate they’ve found me anyway. The offers they're making!
Don't worry, I’d only accept if they offered a 30% raise and two-hour lunch. What?
You'll give me 40%? How sweet! Well, I'm off to lunch. See you at 3:30!"
Week 5 Results:
Voted To Fire: JessPrincess2000
Task: COMPLETED, 7th employee to finish
Question Response: CORRECT - $38.50
Opinion Response: "I'd go on vacation anyway. When I got
back, I'd tell my boss that I was attending a corporate productivity
seminar in Cleveland. (You didn't get my memo?) My boss would be so impressed with my
pro-active stance, that she'd insist that the company reimburse me for the entire week.
After much protesting, I'd humbly accept."
Week 4 Results:
Voted To Fire: Craig, Leah
Task: COMPLETE - "A Hydraulically powered white-out
staple gun"
Question Response: CORRECT -"LL Cool
J"
Opinion Response: "I may be a
millionaire now, but I'm still the same old me. I assure you that I plan to continue with
the same high quality work that you've come to expect from me. So I'm going back to my
desk to surf the web. Could you be a dear and let me know when it's time for
lunch?"
Week 3 Results:
Voted To Fire: Jason, Lawrence
Task: COMPLETED, 7th employee to finish
Question Response: CORRECT - "letter tray"
Opinion Response: "Since the dress code at my office is
business casual, you really have to dress like a bum to stand out. But I've done it.
I’ve gone out drinking immediately after work, stayed out all night and come back to
work the next morning wearing the exact same outfit. My boss didn’t say anything, but
I’m sure she smelled it."
Week 2 Results:
Voted To Fire: Craig, Tania
Task: Completed, 9th employee to finish
Task URL: CLICK HERE
Question Response: CORRECT "Continental, El
Dorado"
Opinion Response: "In New York I 'carpool' with
hundreds of people on the subway. I usually have to sit next to someone who is
falling asleep and starting to drool on me. Facing the subway is sometimes so painful that
I can't go to work and have to stay in bed all day, eating Lucky Charms and watching The
Price is Right."
Week 1 Results:
Voted To Fire: Bombshell, Tania
Task: Completed, 6th employee to finish
Question Response: CORRECT "The world may never
know..."
Opinion Response: "Do you pack a PB&J
sandwich and brown banana or spend a fortune on cold Chinese buffet? There's a better way
-- be a scavenger! Stroll through the office looking for leftovers from some bigwig's
lunchtime conference. Believe me, those execs eat well! It's good, filling, free, and
since you never
leave the office, you'll get paid for the lunch hour!!!"
Why Were You Late?: "Oh no, I wasn't late. I went
straight to the mail room this morning to make sure those requisitions went out. Of course
they didn't send them last night like I specifically requested. Unbelievable! I'm glad I
checked! Don't worry though--I made sure they went out this morning. They're terrible down
there! By the way, you're going to be late for your 10 o'clock. Do you want some
coffee?"
Click here to vote |
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office survival:
